i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
