Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
