Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize