i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
