Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
