so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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