She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
