I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize