too bad you live with your parents still
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
