fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
