College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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