bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
