I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize