my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
