She's JV to your varsity
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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