Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize