just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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