Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
