i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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