I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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