I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
