laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
