I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
