We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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