Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
