I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
