no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
