508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
