So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
