If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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