i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
its liver damage thursday
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
