i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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