Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize