maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
