was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
