hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
