You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
