he thought i was a dude.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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