I faked an abortion last night.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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