I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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