left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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