I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
