i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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