So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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