here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I would ride that face into the sunset
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
