everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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