If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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