I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
