So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
