Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
