Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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