you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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