i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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