I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
