we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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