around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
