is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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