i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
