Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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