Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
