How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
