think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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