Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
its not stalking. its research.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
