And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
