ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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