All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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