the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
