i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
