I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
