Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
