No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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