i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
