My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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