he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Randomize
